Everybody does it

When I was a kid, whether said explicitly or implicitly, the phrase "Because I said so" was one of my primary guides. If it was said by a parent, or a teacher, authority had pronounced and authority was always right, and always good. Because they said so.

Unfortunately in my first working years, the bosses I had in both New York and in California, both nice enough folks, if you were in a social gathering, were willing, shall we say, to stretch their ethics. In fact one of them said that to me, "You are going to have to learn to stretch your ethics." Now, mind, as I have often noted in these pages, I am not a saint. So, while I would say that ethics is important to me, it was counterweighted by that old emotional and moral bulwark, "Because I said so." I couldn't for the longest time figure how to deal with an authority figure, that had to be right, that I knew in my heart of hearts wasn't right, and said that what they wanted was okie dokie. I realized early on that saying "no" was going to be hard enough that I might find myself in trouble before I got the hang of it. I was caught in a state of cognitive dissonance. What I thought I knew just wasn't so.

Another phrase that those in various professional businesses who get into trouble say with their medical boards or psychology boards or legal boards or for that matter, the cosmetology board aside from "Because I said so" is "Everybody does it." I was talking about that to somebody today, a person who is in the regulation business, like me, and lamenting that whenever somebody gets caught doing a professional no-no,say, maybe fudges a little on the truth in say, some paperwork, that's the magic phrase--heck man, why are you bothering me, "EVERYBODY does it!" Then there is a concomitant suggestion that the one who is enforcing the rule (you are not supposed to fudge on the paperwork, or take a little extra money from medi-cal for your patient, or take money of the client's) is less than compassionate. You think YOU wouldn't do something like that, holier than thou?

I am not sure of the logic there. I am just as capable of doing bad things as the next djinn, though I pray I will resist as each weak moment comes, and I know that I won't always, but I also know that there have to be rules.That is simply inescapable if we are to survive, let alone if you believe in higher principles of ethics or morality. And hey professional folks from plumber to auto repair shop, to lawyer, to doctor, psychologist, accountant and you name it, "Everybody does it" is what a child says, not a full grown adult. It is a non-sequitur. And you know, in that context, the third phrase, "If everybody jumped off a cliff, would you?" has a certain symmetry.

What's the point of this diatribe. When you are a child, I guess, you have to abide by "Because I said so."  You are just getting the hang of things, and authority at least has been around longer than you. And it is ok to answer, "Everybody does it."  because a kid's pre frontal lobes aren't fully formed.  But when you are an adult, you think about what you do and the consequences of what you do, or are supposed to be able to do some critical higher thinking. And you question those who say otherwise. Sometimes you even answer to a Higher Authority.